Four Months

Four months. That’s how long it’s been since I have written. Four months and 1500 miles. I wish I could blame this absence on a new period of self discovery, but recently I have been more sure of myself than ever. Four months ago I packed up my car, after what can only be defined as another one of my rash decisions. I drove through the night, across four states, eager to land somewhere that I had only fantasized. I again found myself alone, far from anyone considered family or friend. One would expect that I would feel the same as I had the many times before; terrified, desperate, isolated from those around me, but instead what came over me was an instant wave of comfort, like I belonged here all along. Those feelings were soon confirmed, not by any one defining moment or relationship, but simply by the world around me. With the interactions I had came reassurance, the environment brought peace, and for the first time ever the isolation brought about a new belief in myself. I have been known to talk about dreams and how important it is to chase them. I have also understood how easy it is to toss those dreams aside for convenience or instant gratification. There is no shame in the latter, I have lived both of those worlds and I have found happiness and comfort in both. However, as I sat down in my empty living room; alone, jobless, and a little hungry, I discovered that I was happier than I had ever been. Happier than in a city I had once considered my dream, and happier than a place I had once considered my home.  I do believe that dreams are meant to be chased, even if it is just for a moment. I don’t think that everyone knows exactly what there dreams are, but I do think that even the smallest pursuit you can discover your dreams along the way. The smallest taste can help you discover who you really are, what you really love, and they might even lead you somewhere you never thought you’d go.

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