Wednesday: Moving Forward

A resignation letter sits in the mailboxes of the different individuals that I had grown to admire. Up until that point there was nothing but excitement in my bones about the upcoming events, but something else had begun to fester. A moment of heartbreak rushed over me as I saw unexpected emotions displayed across the faces of my peers. I had spent so much time complaining about my surroundings that I had forgotten about the relationships that I built. How selfish of me to not take their feelings into account.

It comes a point when one must move on from every part of life. A truth that I sometimes have a hard time swallowing. Some experiences, such as this one, are shorter than originally expected. Because of this I have spent a lot of time questioning if I was making the right decision. How can an experience as short as this one hold any real weight? I have in fact only been with the job for a handful of months, and in the city less than a year. Is leaving so soon a decision made to hastily? Am I missing out on opportunities that only this city can offer? And the relationships that I have built here, what does it mean if I just desert them so abruptly?

The feeling of sadness is heavy in the air. However, it does not reside in the moments of confliction, nor is it fueled by the thoughts of separation. It exists solely as it is supposed to, right now, in this moment. It is true that in a couple of weeks I will be far away from a job where I was secure, relationships that I care for, and a city that I had grown to love. But it is also true that something new awaits right around the corner. Those new experiences, no matter how good or bad they may be, will be nothing less than the next chapter in my life. I do mourn the distance between now and then, but I now understand how much fondness distance brings and how valuable even the shortest experiences become.

Moving forward is inevitable. The worst thing one can do is try to stop it.

I raise a glass to the past, and a bottle for the future.

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