Today I went for a run in the park.
If you aren’t baffled by that statement then you have no idea who I am. The last time I ran was because I had just finished the Conjuring 2 and I had to get to my room before I was killed by a murderous china doll. I have never liked the idea of exercising, but being in Los Angeles surrounded by people who were sculpted by Zeus himself inspired me. You know, when in Rome. How did it go you ask? Exactly how I expected, I hated it. I ran for about thirty minutes while listening to Blink-182’s Greatest Hits and I’m pretty sure I lingered on onto the fringes of death. Melodramatic enough? In all seriousness it wasn’t that bad and I might do it again some day.
I followed up my strenuous work out with six tacos from a food truck, chorizo of course, and a Quad Americano. That’s right, I said quad, that’s four shots bitches. I accomplished more in the hours following that cup of coffee then I have since I’ve been in LA. I soon became way to hyper to be sitting in a coffee shop and proceeded to walk laps around the park until my body returned to it’s normal level of insanity.
What came next in my day had nothing to do with exercise or accomplishing work, and it may in fact be the most important thing I did all day. I went to a screening of Hocus Pocus in Hollywood. It’s okay to be jealous. If keep working hard, exercise once a year, and drink four shots of expresso, you can be like me one day. Before the movie started there were actors dressed up as the witches from the movie (Winnie, Mary, and Sarah for all of you uncultured swine), and it was probably the happiest I have ever been. Trust me, if you haven’t seen Hocus Locus live in Hollywood then you haven’t lived.
On a side note: I never realized how bad the acting was in that movie. Were all 90’s movies like that? Yes, yes they were, and I would be happy to argue with you about it until the end of time.
When we got home we realized we left one of the gas stove tops on. So if I don’t wake up tomorrow fill my grave with gummy bears, Coca-Cola, and the Star Wars films. I want to die like I lived.